Life is better in person

Adriana Ivanoff, Staff writer


Many times in my life, I have been told that my texting does not accurately communicate what I intended to say. In my opinion, if you want to know a person, you should be speaking to them face to face or you could lose intimate details that make them who they are. 

For example, I have a friend who has the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard, something I couldn’t know about over text. He is an utterly original epic rocker and I find myself blaring rock music to remember the legend. Sometimes I’ll even throw out a terrible wookie roar because he was the only one to ever make Chewbacca proud with his imitation. He’s a genius in flare and witt. But, if you ask me to describe him without knowing all these little details and actions, I couldn’t do him justice.

Contrary to the aura of his flame, he never burns what he touches, but he ignites something in people’s heart. You will never get that feeling from a text on a phone screen.

 I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little lost without that person. If I only knew them in the world of text, I wouldn’t have known all those details about him.

I have another friend who has the brightest smile and a sense of humor that makes you laugh harder than you have in years had. They are a mascot of cheer. Yet, sometimes they let stress bubble over, forgetting to smile as they work so hard. If you ask me how I would describe them, I’d say alive in the grandest scope of things but you wouldn’t be able to experience the smile that lights up a room through a selfie he posted on social media. 

My last example is the friend who has always looked out for me. They have a brother like Aura and wisdom like Yoda. He is sarcastic and has input that could put you in your place quickly. He is slightly gloomy but often hilarious, and watches sizzling meat videos for fun — you can imagine my confusion, as a vegetarian, until I discovered he liked to cook. If I have to describe who I call “The Broda” I would say he is the yelling voice of consciousness you should probably listen to. I wouldn’t have been able to read sarcasm through a text or direct message. 

Face to face communication is necessary to see people for who they really are.

In the Psychology Today’s article “Seven Ways Texting Defines Your Relationship” by Randi Gunther  Ph.D, she states, “communicating is only 10 percent words and 90 percent facial expression, body language, voice intonation, rhythm, and touch, it is totally understandable that misunderstandings have mushroomed when relationship partners rely on words alone rather than face-to-face connections.”

My suggestion is to avoid chatting over text, the “hey you, let’s chat about stuff” or the “I’m going through a rough time and just wanted to say hey to a friend.” I’ve gotten such strange responses from these messages and sometimes no replies.

Those that I had recent contact with remembered who I am better than those that didn’t and when I actually felt sad they were always there. We could still laugh at things over social media.

Those who I considered friends often did not lend an ear during a time of need through the phone, because I hadn’t had constant physical contact with them. They shut me down, dodging conversations or ignoring me in favor of someone else. It was in complete opposite to their usual character so, I’ve been researching why.

In the Washington Post article “Ghosting is normal now. That’s completely bonkers” by Lisa Bonos a  research survey revealed that, “a 2019 YouGov survey of U.S. adults found that 30 percent of them had ghosted a romantic partner or friend. Yes, friends ghost one another.” 

You could get ghosted simply because they don’t know how to respond, even if you’ve known them your whole life. It’s not a reflection of the person but, a reflection of the normality that society instilled in the newer generation since technology has advanced to the point that it depreciated human contact. You’re no longer a person, but a pair of words that if you don’t say correctly can end it all. That’s why texting is not and will never be as good as face-to-face connections.