We live in a society where we’d rather be right than kind. This is reflected in how we treat each other, our political climate, how we talk about controversial topics, and how we impose our lifestyles on other people. Whatever happened to conflict resolution? Whatever happened to “I” statements and compromises? Yes, some things are not debated, I’ll give you that. But is it worth it to damage someone’s character and hurt their feelings just to win? Just to be right?
As time passes, we forget how to resolve conflicts and focus on how to win conflicts. We’ve shifted our mindset from collaborating with our peers to beating them. More and more people prioritize “roasting” their opponents instead of hearing their perspective. We don’t think beyond our ideals, we don’t explore other perspectives, because to do that, we’d have to face the possibility of being wrong — and no one is willing to take that risk.
I mean, why are we even fighting in the first place? Are we fighting to create change and make the world a better place? Or are we fighting because our views are being challenged, creating cognitive dissonance?
When we argue and put ourselves in different cliques, we’re not solving the problems we set out to solve. When we only associate ourselves with people like us, we’re not growing beyond our bubble, but stunting our growth and potential. We’re not coming together to create solutions — we’re dividing ourselves.
If we collaborate and talk our issues through, we can better understand each other and work to achieve our goals. It’s counterproductive to argue and isolate; we get nothing done if we spend most of that time hating each other.
So why are we so quick to invalidate other’s experiences? In my humble opinion, it has more to do with pride than anything else.
Pride is an intrinsic form of motivation. We want to be right all the time. We want everyone to take our side because it makes us more secure about ourselves and the values we hold. But the more we focus on ourselves, and how we feel and perceive the world, the more we forget that it’s not just about us. We share the world with many different people from countless walks of life. And to deny or flat-out invalidate their ideals — or even their existence — is selfish and cruel.
I’d rather be wrong, admit my flaws and apologize, rather than lose my relationships because I was too prideful to open my heart and show care for the people I love. Taking care of someone’s heart is more important than being right.