It’s hard to tell whether the phrase “stop kink-shaming me” is used more by those who are into “unusual” sexual behavior or by those making fun of those people. Whichever the case, it’s considered a serious issue most notably by bloggers apparently. It’s time we make an effort to be open-minded to new things but to also learn to understand there are boundaries to be considered.
People have been tearing each other down for centuries based on their morally offensive bedroom activities so naturally people want to remove stigmas — here’s nothing wrong with a little clarification.
When “50 Shades of Grey” came out, the BDSM community condemned the novel: They didn’t want a sloppily written book full of glorified abuse to define their culture. Good for them. They furthermore dispelled myths about themselves in an effort to make outsiders understand their lifestyle.
However, some people are immediately defensive and rude in defending themselves. Certain aspects of human sexuality can be difficult to comprehend as expertly displayed by the Republican Party, so rather then telling someone who is kink-shaming you to kill themselves, it’s best to try and explain your fetishes or keep them to yourself.
Those indulging in these more-than-vanilla acts have to realize it’s called a kink for a reason. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, a kink is defined as a “mental or physical peculiarity” and when it comes to sex, that’s putting it mildly. You can’t expect people to be 100 percent on board with things just because it’s a part of who you are. If we’ve learned anything from our being humans, it’s that everyone’s got limits.
At the conservative side of the spectrum, we seem to have an issue with making rash judgments about other people’s habits. It’s important to remember that different people like different things and so if it’s not affecting you why make a big deal out of it? So you know a reverend that wears women’s underwear and likes being spanked with baguettes — it’s his life to dictate.
As with most taboo topics, there are specific groups of people who would rather keep sexual discussions to a minimum but it’s 2015 — we’re immersed in a deeply sexual culture and we aren’t looking back to modesty. If the uprising of Miley Cyrus is an indication of anything, it’s that nudity and the sexualization of everything will be the new norm. If we’re more progressive, we’ll be closer to understanding topics that still makes a lot of us uncomfortable.
It’s true some people want to keep their activities to themselves which is fine but if you’re going to talk about it, the environment will have to be ready do have a mature discussion without resorting to epithets and throwing bibles at the sexually adventurous.
Without those brave souls fighting the good fight against intolerable kink-shamers, where else would we get our information? Surveys are unreliable. According to a 2007 study done by Dr. Scorolli “Data from the studies examining rare fetishes are typically from psychiatric patients, sex offenders” and those who have been recommended for therapy. This might lead people to believe the only kinky people are those with psychological issues but this isn’t so.
This particular form of “shaming” isn’t focused on as much as other forms but it still illustrates social compromise is needed. We could all benefit if the uptight and the deviant met each other half way. Some need to be bit more understanding toward those who don’t understand fetishism. Other people need to remove the stick from their you-know-whats — unless they’re into that sort of thing. Only then can we move on to something more important like the freeing the nipple or doing away with the illuminati.