It feels like every time I log onto social media or turn on the news, I see a report about yet another mass shooting happening in the United States.

According to the gun violence archive website, which classifies mass shootings where people were killed or injured by a gun, there have been 146 mass shootings in America all year. But we’re only in April, around this time last year, 131 mass shootings have already occurred.

As bad as it might sound, I can’t bring myself to care about them as much as I once used to. Mass shootings have been happening my entire life and yet, nothing has really ever been changed to combat them. When you see shootings after shootings occur and nothing is done to stop them, it’s very easy to get desensitized.

Every time I see a report or news about a mass shooting, I always think “damn, that’s sad, I hope the families of the victims are doing alright,” before I continue scrolling and go about my day. I used to get worked up about seeing these incidents because they are sad situations that no one wants to see.

Over time, mass shootings no longer affected me and I had become numb to them. I knew that nothing was going to change, so I figured there was no reason for me to let these things impact me anymore.

I grew tired of seeing the phrase “thoughts and prayers” repeated over and over again because all we can ever offer is that. Call me pessimistic, negative, whatever, but deep down, anyone with eyes can see that mass shootings have been going on for years, and no major change has happened.

If the people in charge of fixing these problems are more focused on trying to only do things that fit their political agenda instead of what’s right, there’s really no point in feeling shocked.

Political agendas being the basis for politicians is a problem that extends far past mass shootings, instead, it’s just one of the biggest consequences that come from it. It never really feels like politicians do things for the good of the people, but rather petty stuff they do to spite the party they’re against. 

There is only so much a regular civilian like me can do to make a change when the ones who hold real power are busy attacking each other instead of focusing on the issues at hand.

The optimism that I once had is now long gone, and it sucks. I would love for something to happen regarding mass shootings, but it’s rather unrealistic at this stage. I can’t be disappointed by something not happening if I don’t allow myself to get my hopes up in the first place.